Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Anthrax and Testament - Allentown, Feb. 6

In a way, I wish Crocodile Rock, in nearby Allentown, would stop getting shows I want to see, just because I hate the place so damned much. Every time I go there (and it's more often than I'd like to admit), I walk in thinking, If only someone would build a club to compete with this one . . . As it is, so far it's the only place in Lehigh Valley, PA, for shows of this size.

And this one was packed. Had to be over-sold by a decent number of tickets. God forbid a fire, or some other disaster, should ever break out in Crocodile Rock; most of its patrons would no doubt never make it out the doors.

Anyway, last night's show, featuring Anthrax and Testament, was phenomenal, my enjoyment dampened only by the enormous crowd, the spotty sound system (which muted every three minutes or so--typical of Crocodile Rock), and the fact that it took Anthrax forty minutes to come out, after Testament had finished their set.

I arrived at the end of Death Angel's set, so I can't comment on their performance; from what I heard, it sounded good. Testament came out to the sounds of the Hellraiser theme, demonstrating once more how well horror and metal go together, and their set was a fifty-five minute monster, with barely any pause between songs that spanned their entire discography. It truly did appear to be a double-headliner bill, as Testament played almost as long as Anthrax. They sounded tight, and Chuck Billy rocked a glowing mic stand, which he used to play air guitar during just about every instrumental break.

Anthrax opened with Earth On Hell and Fight Em Till You Can't, two songs off last year's Worship Music. They busted out Caught In a Mosh and Anti-Social, before returning to the new album, for The Devil You Know. Their set offered a total of four tracks from Worship Music, which, for my money, is the right amount for a tour promoting a new album. Too often bands come out with a record and tour for it, and only play one, maybe two songs, off of it. Or the reverse: they come out and play mostly new stuff. Neither of these approaches is satisfying for an audience. Why even put out a record, if you're not going to play the songs live? And alternatively, why play only songs a large portion of the crowd won't be familiar with?

Anthrax put most of the new tunes in the first half of the set, and spent the second half on songs from each of their pre-John Bush albums, getting a chaotic circle pit going during Indians. The song was stopped mid-breakdown, and Scott Ian addressed the crowd. He was concerned that the people in the back and in the over-21 section weren't having enough fun, and wanted to make sure they had as much fun as the crazy motherfuckers up front. They then re-started the breakdown and continued the song.

Whenever Ian or Belladonna had something to say into the mic, it was worth hearing. Not a lotta silly stage banter, like some bands do, just jokes and brief announcements. They pounded out eleven songs, disappeared for a few minutes, and then did three for an encore. All in all, a great show, very fast and intense all night.

Friday, February 3, 2012

I Wish Charles Band Would Stop Making F###ing Puppet Master Movies.

When is he going to quit?

As if the last few weren't wretched enough, Charles Band is releasing yet another terrible Puppet Master movie. Is anyone still watching these things? Maybe not--but they cost so little to produce, it doesn't take much of an audience to warrant making another, and hey, at least a handful of folks will fork over money for the new action figures, which will be priced at approximately 400,000 times their worth.

Here's an example of what one of the new toys will look like. In typical Charles Band fashion, the toys are available for sale long before the film's release.

Blitzkrieg is the name of the puppet. And he's easily the dopiest-looking puppet since Decapitron, from the mid-90s.

I did watch the last Puppet Master movie. It was the first one in years, so I watched it, but with low expectations, having seen several of the newer Full Moon movies, none of which are very good. What the hell happened to Charles Band? I know he doesn't care much about anything besides money, but the major faults of these movies lie not in the ultra-low budgets but in the almost non-existent writing. I'll be the last person to say the old Full Moon films had great stories or scripts, but they were written in a fun, B-movie kind of way. You could usually tell that the people making them were having a good time doing it. The new movies Band cranks out typically have about one original thought in ninety minutes.

Actually, Demonic Toys 2 didn't even have one.

The man clearly doesn't give a shit about making movies, only money. But I wish he'd leave the Puppet Master series alone.

I don't think I'm going to rent Puppet Master: Axis Rising. At this point even I'm out.